About Margo

A Sexuality Educator on a mission to help those affected by chronic pain.

My Story, so far… 

I am a 47-year-old bisexual, living in a monogamous marriage with the man of my dreams, whom I am also in a D/s relationship with.  I am a dog mom to three dogs and two barn cats, and just trying to keep up with the fast pace of life.  I live on Choctaw Land, which is now called New Orleans, LA, and have most of my life.  I have grown up with a diversity of friends, soaked in the cultures of this area.  I graduated from LSU with a bachelor’s degree in architecture (2002) and worked as an architect in the City of New Orleans (on numerous projects and even City Hall) before and after Hurricane Katrina.   For most of those years, I worked in extreme pain due to a car accident that happened (2004), two years into my career.  Eventually, the pain became too much and I had to stop working.  

After my career ended, years went by, and through a lot of therapy, self-discovery, and education.  I determined that my sexual health was just as important as my physical and mental health.  And when I went to look for information on how to keep a healthy sex life while living with chronic pain I found very few resources, and most were vague. I became angry and then focused. I decided it was my mission in life now to help others who were like me, exhausted and looking for someone to just hand them a manual on “How to Have Sex When your Body is in Constant Everchanging  Pain.”  So I decided to go back to school to get the education, supervision, and experience to become a sexuality educator. I am currently finishing up my education and under supervision.

 

I promise NOT to offer medical advice or therapeutic advice or tell you to try yoga (joke within the chronically ill community). I promise to be truthful, open, and here to listen to your story.

I am not defined by my pain. I am a wife, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, lover, dog mother, designer, switch, student, writer, and so much more.

I am a radical, sexual being who has learned adaptability when chronic pain has thrown unforeseen obstacles in my path.

My Goals

I want to educate the general public, the people living with chronic pain, the caretakers, and the medical community that a healthy sex life is possible when living with chronic pain.  That those of us living with chronic pain still need and want pleasure, sex, romance, and all the joys of life.

My Objectives

I will provide workshops, webinars, discussion groups, consultations, education, and resources so that you have the tools and planning you need to keep your sexuality alive and keep a healthy sex life as you battle chronic pain.

My Privileges

middle-aged, cisgender female
 
white

raised in a middle-income family in the suburbs

family and friends’ support system including my loving husband

big yard with three dogs and two cats

 

My Disadvantages

middle-aged, cisgender female

disabled

chronic pain

depression/ anxiety

bisexual

I will talk about my medical diagnosis and the various treatments I had had over the years.   I will also talk about how the pain has affected my sexual health. I found in the almost two decades of being in pain, that not one doctor asked how the pain was affecting my sexuality or my sex life with my husband.  That is why I am here, that’s why I am a sexuality educator.

I often feel that when chronic pain people meet, you want to know what their medical diagnoses are, so here are mine:

  • Basically, my entire back is in extreme pain at all times:
    • Bulging discs in my neck (C5, C6, C7, & C8), and eventually two of the discs were fused.
    • Bulging discs in my thoracic spine (T10, T11, T12) which is right where my bra strap falls. Inoperable
    • Disc degeneration in the lower back, with SI Joint pain.
  • Fibromyalgia
    • “Accessory Illness” includes IBS, carpal tunnel, costochondritis, painful bladder syndrome (IC), brain fog, memory problems, insomnia, migraines, imaginary bugs biting you, and the list goes on…
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  • Hypothyroidism
  • Major Depression Disorder (MDD) and Anxiety
    • I have yet to find anyone living in extreme pain that does not suffer from depression and anxiety. 
  • Sleep Apnea
  • PDOD – Pleasure Dissociative Orgasmic Disorder / Sexual Anhedonia
    • I do not have a release of endorphins at the time of orgasm; orgasms are not pleasurable for me. 
  • There’s probably more, but the brain fog and fatigue make me forget.
Question for Me?